Meet Function Health, an Austin, Texas-based, venture capital-backed company offering gobs of blood tests, all for only $500/year. Wow, what a deal. They even tell you how old you are by analyzing your blood. Theirs is a Theranosesque story of a young woman solving her own health issues who decides to save the world in the process. Acquires venture capital backing and hires a bunch of famous people, along with some quack physicians (Mark Hyman is cofounder), who love money, to become a part of their scam.
The physician behind Functional Health is Mark Hyman (known for his “bullshit”), a promotor of high-fat diets and the ingestion of coconut oil. Some people will do nearly anything for money. Hyman’s diet recommendations that include red meat and coconut oil (contains 92% saturated fat) have been found to be contributors to the epidemic of colorectal cancer. Is Hyman aware that coconut oil ingestion in a high-fat diet produced dysbiosis associated with an increased colorectal cancer risk? Of course not, he’s too busy making videos, selling the supplement du jour, signing bad books (see a review by Dr. T. Colin Campbell of Cornell University), and doing other things to make money. Further, “coconut oil had a greater impact than soy oil on mice lipid metabolism, resulting in a significant increase in plasma total cholesterol and triglycerides. Not surprisingly, since it is widely accepted that saturated fats, unlike unsaturated fats, can raise blood levels of total cholesterol and triglycerides.” Moreover, “The consumption of saturated fatty acids (SFA), the main compound in coconut oil (CO), can promote insulin and leptin resistance and are associated with inflammation and obesity.” Eating a high fat diet not only harms self, so too are your offspring harmed by a high fat diet. Recent studies find immunometabolic changes in bone marrow and myeloid cells of offspring whose mothers had a high fat diet and obesity, leading to an increased later life risk of infection and cancer.
Hyman also recommends a high protein diet. A diet rich in animal proteins can lead to increased production of TMAO from intestinal microbiota, augmenting the risk of cardiovascular disease, while plant-based proteins could positively influence gut microbial homeostasis. The high intake of saturated fats and omega-6 PUFA, and the reduced intake of omega-3 PUFA, typical of a western-type diet and what Hyman is suggesting, could lead to dysbiosis, gut barrier alterations, and metabolic disorders. Hyman, it seems, likes chronic disease – the more sick people, the more money he makes.
I could go on, but you get the idea. Humans didn’t evolve eating processed coconut oil and it’s not healthy, despite what Mark Hyman tells you. Hyman ranks right up there with other physicians such as George Demos, MD convicted of insider trading, Armando Valdes for fraud, Philip Frost, MD for stock manipualtion, Sebastian De La Maza for fraud, Mammen P. Zachariah and Sheldon Nassberg for insider trading, Matthew Teltser, MD for falsifying clinical trial data, John Patterson, M.D receiving kickbacks, Ralph de la Torre, MD who was paid $250 million in 4 years to collapse a major US healthcare system, and many, many more. The problem is widespread, it’s everywhere. In Florida, for example, physicians specialize in performing unnecessary back surgeries. Then there is the 1-800-Get-Thin guy, Julian Omidi, who went to jail for his $98 million fraud. I could go on and on about physicians swindling you, but you get the idea.
Hyman is a social media darling, perfect for VCs who want to make $billions more than they currently have. And like the uneducated tech-bros that they are, they use cool tech-bro terms at Function Health to describe what they do. For instance, “Your Stack developed with top doctors,” using “stack” that is the mantra for tech bros to describe damn near everything these days, having derived from computer technology describing the front end and the back end of computer applications and the term “full stack.” Note that tech-bro insels such as Elon Musk are fully into this terminology as exemplified by a recent tweet on Twitter from Musk:
Function Health Test Results
Let’s have a look at how these people at Functional Health plan to make billions.
LDL-Cholesterol
Someone I know is trying the Functional Health program and recently received their first test results. Here’s the result for LDL-Cholesterol from the person’s blood test.
This person was very concerned because the result said they were “Above Range” for LDL-Cholesterol. Sounds bad, right?
But here’s what Johns Hopkins Medicine says about LDL-Cholesterol:
The LDL cholesterol range for adults is:
- Optimal: Less than 100 mg/dL
- Near optimal: 100–129 mg/dL
- Borderline high: 130–159 mg/dL
- High: 160–189 mg/dL
- Very high: 190 mg/dL and higher
Wow! LDL cholesterol at 106mg/dl is nearly optimal, hardly the scarry “Above Range” reported by Functional Health.
Apolipoprotein B (ApoB)
Apo B is protein that is primarily found bound to LDL, and high LDL- cholesterol raises the risk for heart disease and stroke because it builds up as plaque on the walls of your blood vessels.
Here’s the result for apoB from the person’s blood test:
This person was very concerned because the result said they were “Above Range” for ApoB. Sounds bad, right?
Here’s what the Cleveland Clinic says about ApoB range:
“What is a normal Apo B level? A normal Apo B level is: 66 to 133 mg/dL for a man or adult assigned male at birth (AMAB). 60 to 117 mg/dL for a woman or adult assigned female at birth (AFAB).”
Once again, Wow! What Function Health says in “Above Range” is called normal by the Cleveland Clinic. These people at FH are using scare tactic to suck people in.
Thyroid Test is Offered
Overprecribing thyroid medication is rampant in the USA. According to Yale University School of Medicine, as many as 90 percent of those who take levothyroxine [Synthroid] may have been unnecessarily prescribed the hypothyroidism medication. There’s a natural diurnal variation in TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone), and the hormone is at its lowest during the working hours. TSH also varies with the season, being highest in winter.
So, think about it. Report to a lab for your blood work during the day, during the summer, when your TSH is at its trough, and guess what? Your thyroid test says you have low TSH when you likely have a normal range of TSH. Next, they’ll likely recommend you take a pill, a thyroid medication.
The same can be said for LDL. LDL cholesterol levels peak in the afternoon, around 14:39–17:29 hours, and coincide with food intake. Yet these morons at Function Health, including their physicians, are ignorant that LDL has significant diurnal variation.
What To Do For Health and Optinal Function
Avoid these guys at FH, for one.
Buy a copy of the Blue Zones Kithchen and/or Thinking and Eating For Two: The Science of Using Systems 1 and 2 Thinking to Nourish Self and Symbionts and start eating a plant-forward diet.
For example, eating berries can strengthen your blood vessels and reduce blood pressure. But Mark Hyman doesn’t sell blueberries, just some phony, ill-conceived and misinterpreted tests for $500/year.
Stem Cells, Health, Technology 