Middle-class: work harder to make your favorite billionaire happier. It’s the new American Dream. Remember, the more they have, the more they need. “Greed is Good.”
My fellow middle-class Americans: When you pay you taxes and billionaires don’t, which would you rather support? Science and education, or getting one guy a bigger yacht? You needn’t reply. Trump and Republicans have decided for you, with the Big, Beautiful Bill.
Republicans looked at the economy and said, “All of these middle-class people can barely afford rent! They may work a hundred years and never even be able to buy a boat! They will marry at city hall and have their receptions in a public park. None of them will be able to rent out the entire city of Venice. Maybe, if they are feeling fancy, they will dine out at their local Chipotle.” And then Trump said, “No! We can’t let this happen. We are taking a stand. We’ve got to redistribute the wealth of Americans properly: to billionaires, who will use it better than the rest of us can.”
Trump’s Big, Beautiful Bill assigns each American a billionaire or centi-millionaire who will live the American dream for you. We’ll help you check in on your billionaire at intervals and see how he is using your money. Maybe he’s building his 19th pool at his 19th manision. Maybe he’s buying himself some formerly public land! Yosemite will soon be for sale. A Van Gogh is needed hanging over his toilet. Maybe he’s taking a Supreme Court justice on a dream vacation! Fire up one his personal jets for a trip to Saint Barthélemy with his favorite justice. Maybe he has purchased the Statue of Liberty to change the poem, from:
“Give me your tired, your poor, / Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, / The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. / Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, / I lift my lamp beside the golden door.
To: “Give me your tired, your poor, / Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, / The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. / Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, /I lift my lamp to better see my serfs”
Maybe he’s throwing a Great Gatsby–themed cocktail hour as part of his wedding extravaganza! Maybe he’s replacing his blood with transfusions from his “blood boys.” The billionaire thinks he’s becoming younger, but the boy donor is prematurely aging. Who cares? Not the billionaire. Maybe he has bought some $TRUMP or MELANIA coin and is attending a special bash! There’s never a dull moment for the lucky beneficiaries of this wonderful bill!
The billionaires need all of this in the Big Bill to further receive government hand-outs. The $760 billion in annual subsidies to their fossil companies is just not enough. Then they’ll use the money that taxpayers give them to purchase radio and TV stations, newspapers, and other media outlets to let you know how important giving the billionaires hand-outs is to their well-being, and therefore the well-being of the country.
They also have fun by starting more wars, where the rich get richer, the poor die, and we, the middle-class, pay for it. Their new billionaire resort in GAZA promises to make Indian Creek Island, where Jeff and his silicone playmate live, look like a ghetto. Work hard middle-class, billionaires need your capital.
Stem Cells, Health, Technology 